I changed the colors. I like them better, but I really wish I knew how to change the layout and make it all fancy-like. I don't have the time to learn right now, and my people who might know how to do such are all insanely busy, so I don't want to bug them to show me how, right now. So I will be content with changing the colors and a tiny bit of the style with the pre-fab templates. But eventually, I really do want to know how to make things cool. I used to be reasonably good with website creation, before CSS came on the scene. I might have very little actual artistic ability, but I've always been pretty decent with laying things out and knowing what works together. It's weird- I'll have a picture in my head, and it will be perfect, but if I go to draw it or paint it or whatever, it never works. Some sort of disconnect between my brain and my manual dexterity, perhaps? It wouldn't surprise me- manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination have never been my strong suits. I'm shocked I'm able to knit and crochet, let alone do them well (I may still be something of a beginner, but my stuff looks pretty decent).
I am so groggy. I think it's the decongestant. I really don't understand why decongestants that the doctor swears up and down won't make me drowsy, and in fact might make me jittery, invaribly make me extremely sleepy. Like unable to keep my head up sleepy. Must call the doctor's tomorrow and see if they can give me something without psudophedrine in it. I never remember to ask if that's in there, and I bet that's the problem, because guifenisin doesn't historically turn me into a zombie. But yes, the ENT visit was somewhat successful. My sinsuses are not in good shape right now, which I knew, but it was nice to have confirmation of that. I'm to attack them with saline solution and this stuff that he called Listerine for your sinuses (doesn't that sound lovely?), and do the nasal spray (which he admits might not work as well on me, but even if it does just dribble back out, some of the medicine will stick, he thinks), and take the hardcore prescription decongestants for two weeks, get a CT scan and come back. I am not terribly happy about all this, given that the decongestants are knocking me out and the nasal lavage is incredibly uncomfortable (and my sinuses aren't draining all the saline solution, so I'll go to lie down or tilt my head funny and there will be this rush of water behind my face which makes me dizzy. Need to ask about that, too). But I'll do it anyway. He was honest, and said that it did seem like I have some sort of global defect in my upper respiratory system (That was not a surprise- I knew there was a congenital sinus defect, and I knew my nasal passages were smaller than average), and while it can't be completely fixed or completely cured, there are things that can be done to make it less of a problem than it is. Which, you know, I appreciated. I know it can't be completely cured- I was told back when they did the sinus surgery that it would likely need to be repeated- but it was nice to hear a medical professional admit that he can't completely fix me. Makes me feel less like it's my fault. And I already have had an incurable chronic condition for more than twenty years, so it's not like I'm a stranger to this sort of thing. I could see where some people might be really upset with the fact that this isn't something that can be completely fixed, but I'm like, dude, if you can make it so it's a once or twice a year thing, I'll love you forever. I don't actually feel any better yet, but at least the problem is somewhat identified and someone has looked at it.
Let's see, what else? I went to Gettysburg for a school trip yesterday. It was fun. I had only been once before, the summer before 8th grade, so that's about 12 years ago now, I think. There were places we saw yesterday that I don't remember seeing back then, and we saw places that I definitely remember seeing. Gettysburg is an interesting place on a number of levels. It's one of the most mythologized places in American history (did you know that a lot of what we know about certain parts of the battle were written by people who weren't even there? I didn't, for some of it.), and so there's a lot of mystique surrounding the place. It's also interesting on a historical preservation level. A lot of people complain about the almost theme-park feel to the site, which I think is due to the presence of about a million memorials that are scattered all around the park. These memorials, however, are also part of the preservation story, since they were erected by the states in the late 19th, early 20th century. Gettysburg is also one of the first battlefields to have any sort of official memorializing and preservation, so in some ways, the manner in which it's preserved seems antiquated, or even wrong, today.
It really does not have the same sort of feel as, say, Antietam. Antietam is downright spooky, even on a bright sunny day. It's quiet, and there are few markers. It's mostly just this expanse of land that you know people died on. It's a little scary, and not necessairly somewhere I'd want to visit on a foggy, rainy day, truthfully. The dead are close to the surface there (to be fair, Antietam was the bloodiest battle of the entire war, and one of the bloodiest battles in American history. According to this site, more people were killed or wounded there than in the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the Mexican War and the Spanish American War combined, and the casualties were nine times higher there than the American casulaties were on D-Day. That's a lot of people dead on this little patch of land...) . Gettysburg does have certain areas that feel like that (the wheatfield is one, the peach orchard is another), but it's an all around brighter place to be.
But the trip was enjoyable, although I'm not sure yet how to incorporate it into my paper (which was the point of me going, to see how one can teach using a historic site).
The paper just might do me in, though. Both papers. I'm short an interview for my oral history project yet, and that is insanely stressful. I really, really, absolutely need to do something about that tomorrow. Or my professor might really kill me. I also need to do a mountain of reading for both projects. I'm too sleepy to read today, though- I'd make it through three pages, before I'd be face down, I think. So that will have to happen tomorrow. I did, however, come up with what sounds like a viable topic for my research project next semester. Thank God. I have also managed to register, although I still need to do the paperwork that lets me be classified as a full time student even though I'm only registered for one class (I would not care about full time status, except I don't get my financial aid and I lose my loan deferrment status if I'm not classified as a full time student. This would be Very Bad, as I need the money to live on, and I don't have any way to pay on my loans right now, either). I do, however, need to convince my advisor to do something about the fact that they won't let me graduate because of the B- I got in one of my classes. He told me he'd make sure it wasn't a problem, but he hasn't as yet, and I'd prefer that to get taken care of now, as opposed to say, April. But other than that, it looks like I might actually get to graduate in May. How exciting would that be? I'm being very cautious about feeling like that is a sure thing, because there are things that still need to happen (passing the comps springs to mind...), and I don't want to be too confident, since it may still not happen, but I'm being very quietly and cautiously optimistic that I may yet make it out of grad school with an actual degree.
I'm also moving back to Columbus. Soon. Like, within the next four months for sure, and possibly within the next six weeks, soon. I'm happy about this. There will be things I will miss in DC (my friends and coworkers, for one) but there are many more things that will be better for me in Columbus (my friends and my family, for one. Cheap rent, for another). I can write a research paper in Columbus just as well as I can in DC, so there's no real reason for me to stay here until May. I'll have to come back a couple of times to deal with certain things (comps, perhaps a class presentation or something), but that will be so very much cheaper than living here. Mind you, I have no idea how I'll get all my stuff back to Ohio, or where the heck I'm going to live once I get there (I suspect my parents' house at first, for all that I've sworn not to move back in, but apartment hunting will be much easier to do if I'm local), but that will all iron itself out. Or so my mother claims. She's right more often than not, though, so I should probably listen to her (kidding, Mom. I do listen to you).
